I think it was meant to slow me down. Or in better words, it happened so I can slow down and therefore become more appreciative of what I have, where I am and all of the opportunities that lay before me and ahead of me. It was meant to happen so that my options would be less and so I would stop being overwhelmed by the possibilities at hand that I always –more often than not- try to grab all at once. The result of which is inevitable frustration and exhaustion.
And it did slow me down of course. Sometimes it slowed me down a little too much, it was painful. My enthusiastic, fiery, curious self hates nothing more than restraint. The idea has been implanted in my brain, the resources have been made accessible but it is I who can’t do it; it is just like having the apple within arm’s length but you just can’t reach it. Nevertheless, I, now, look back at the past 2 weeks and see that I’ve been calmer and more organized. I’ve managed to attend sessions, meet a few students outside class, plan for my weekends, study, and more importantly enjoy the little things about every passing day.
I have been able to do more than just look around me; I have seen what I’m surrounded by. I have noticed, observed and taken mental notes. It is definitely something I’ve long needed; to take a step backwards, stand still and watch the world move forward on either side of my body because otherwise it is very hard to observe. With no observation, I believe, no proper opinion can be formed, no genuine appreciation can result and no true enjoyment will take place.
I am glad. I am glad I broke a bone in my foot.
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